Let's take this thoroughly fictional testing facility hazard by hazard, because it's secretly a tour of how OSHA handles novel dangers.
Automated turrets. Machine guarding requires one or more methods of guarding to protect the operator and other employees in the machine area from hazards — point of operation, flying chips and sparks, and the rest (29 CFR 1910.212(a)(1)). A device that autonomously tracks and fires at personnel is, at minimum, a machine whose hazard zone employees must be excluded from by barrier guards, presence-sensing devices, or layout. And where an exotic hazard outruns the specific standards — autonomous devices are a live example in modern robotics safety — the General Duty Clause steps in: employers must furnish employment free from recognized hazards that are causing or are likely to cause death or serious physical harm (OSH Act §5(a)(1)). An armed turret with a targeting laser is about as recognized as hazards get.
The corrosive liquid at the bottom of the test chamber. Where any person's eyes or body may be exposed to injurious corrosive materials, suitable facilities for quick drenching or flushing must be provided within the work area for immediate emergency use (29 CFR 1910.151(c)). The substance also belongs in your hazard communication program with a label and an SDS (29 CFR 1910.1200) — 'deadly science goo' is not a compliant chemical identity.
The cake. OSHA's jurisdiction is safety and health, not morale or compensation. A falsely promised dessert is a matter for employment law, the FTC if it was advertised, or your own conscience — but it is not a citable condition. The serious point buried here: knowing which regulator owns a problem is half of compliance. OSHA for the turret, HazCom for the goo, HR for the heartbreak.